Wow you have come a long way in 3 weeks! It seemingly took me forever to get to the younger ones & admit & uncover the abuse. Recently, we uncovered another one after we had surgery. Sometimes mine are getting loud as we all adjust. I found DiscussingDissociation.com a big help with very practical things to do. Best advice we got was 2 fold....every system operates differently..... slow down. Didn't like either one! Wanted to fix the system now & wanted my T to give me step by step instructions!! Interesting you have a little one before the abuse. I have one too. My T says it's rather rare. Please keep posting.
Although it doesn't feel like it, you all are talking & that's awesome.

Thank you. Yeah it’s pretty weird. I’m not positive she is a little before the abuse because I can barely remember the abuse and she only communicates through pictures. But if she is a little from the abuse she definitely doesn’t know what the abuse is or that it carries shame. I have one that is from after everyone found out about it and the shame and the tearing apart of the family and being interrogated by the police started. I have 2 protectors who talk a lot, one is 13-15 year old me and comes out when we feel physically threatened or in danger or abused in some way. The other is my manager and she takes over when I’m overwhelmed and can’t handle having emotions. She does my job and makes everything happen no matter how depressed I am. I have at least 4 child alters including the 2 little mentioned. I also have a nasty critical voice that puts me down constantly and wants me to kill us all. So there are at least 8 of us in the system I’ve identified on my own thus far. My protectors and the critical one don’t want to integrate. The littles won’t really talk much because one of the protectors keeps them quiet but I’ve gotten a little bit out letting them freewrite letters to our dead grandfather. It’s all very strange. I’m now insisting on being called by my core self’s name which is not my given name. That is a big step for me.



QUOTE=zbmom;6164810]So about 3 weeks ago a therapist figured out I have Dissociative Disorder NOS. So I have all these alters that are fragmented parts of myself that got stuck at certain ages and times in my life. It makes a lot of sense when I look back at the missing spots in my memories and how I can be different at different times and feel hijacked and at war with myself. Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . They want certain things. It’s been overwhelming and scary sometimes. I have 3 main ones including the core self and my core and my over functioning adult self try to keep the third in check because she tends to do impulsive and maladaptive things like cutting, drinking, binging etc. But I also have bipolar and ptsd and so we can’t always manage her. I feel like I have child parts but I can’t identify more than 2 so far and they get triggered and flood me or I get lots of flashbacks. It’s been a lot to take in. Yesterday they wouldn’t shut up so I got my notebook and just gave each of them the chance to write a letter. It was strange to see how the handwriting was so different from each one. I have a very young little before my sexual abuse and she just wanted to draw pictures of her/our pets at that time. I don’t know what I’m doing.