Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi
in the early days of therapy with my ex-T, i noticed him running his fingers through his hair quite a few times during different sessions. and during these brief moments, i experienced it as if i was seeing a 'younger' version (teenage?) of my T and, just for that moment, i could sense he was not really fully in the 'T zone'. to me, it seemed more like a nervous reaction or thought to what i had been discussing at the time and it seemed almost innocently flirtatious in nature too. i am not sure if he really was aware that he was dong it, but it did make me wonder if he was having some kind of 'erotic' counter transference towards me.
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Thanks for the response. I’ve been and now over the roller coaster of transference. And I had this crazy theory before. The reason I thought he might be doing it on purpose is one: I’m really insecure and couldn’t accept that it might be attraction and two:I initially cane to him because I emotionally cheated on my boyfriend and maybe it was to recreate what I’d done and bring attention to it.
But I think it’s the simplest explanation that, as you said, he was not in his T zone which he sometimes drifts out of. I always felt like I needed to control myself or really exercise control and understand that it all ends in the room and the mind plays tricks. But I also felt like I was watching someone open up overtime and it was a bit intimidating. I’m not saying he was or is unprofessional, he just got under my skin and I didn’t want to show it