Have you tried al anon for yourself? If you can’t go to meetings, order their books and read them every day. You didn’t cause it and you cannot cure it. You either disengage or you leave but you cannot make him stop. There is no point to argue with him. One of the al anon books had this saying “you wont go to bakery to buy vegetables so there is no point to go to addict and demand the kind of marriage you want: he can’t give what he doesn’t have”.

And keep in mind alcoholism is family disease. Both you and your son are suffering from
a disease. It’s up to you if that’s how you want to live. But growing up in alcoholic home damages your son, sometimes beyond repair