Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuttapizza
Dear All,
I have recently ended my first attempt with Psychodynamic therapy as I felt I was no longer making progress and possibly getting worse. There could be a whole number of reasons why this was happening and I am sure I am partly to blame, anyhow, I would like to ask you the following.
How is going back to painful childhood/adolescence memories supposed to help? My T seemed to be keen to bring me back to that topic, but quite frankly it just makes me feel worse, it gives me nightmares after therapy and it has made me more resentful and detached from my parents, which I think doesn't help at all.
I asked my T and she just answered with another question "is it better to keep it all inside?". It took me ages to think of an answer to this one, but I am coming to the conclusion that yes, I think it is better to keep it all inside or even better, forget it and get over it. There is no going back. I had the childhood I had, so had my brother, and now we're grown-ups with issues. Big deal. Not that I can do anything about the past.
I just can't see how going back to such memories can bring any good whatsoever to life. I have already decided not to become a parent myself therefore there is no risk I will re-enact such episodes with my own children, as T knows.
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I have done this kind of therapy with two different Ts. One fairly good, one horrid. The good T and I worked on the skill of recognizing how patterns from painful childhood/teen years could re-surface in my present, and how I reacted when I saw those situations playing out.
For example, I had a "perfect" sister. She could do no wrong; I could do no right. My father played us against each other. During my "fairly good" therapy, my T would urge me to look carefully at instances - particularly in the workplace-- where this kind of pattern could play itself out.
I tend to be the rebellious person at work and cast my "goodie" two-shoes colleagues ...particularly women...in the same light as I cast my sister.
This is a trivial example, but I wonder if it throws any light on your question.
For years, I thought therapy was just more pain than progress as I looked at these wounds. Now I can see how it can be helpful in the long-run, but not always. There is a lot of grey area here.
I hope this helps.