Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
Here is one of the possible problems, I think. People don't typically go to therapy when they feel very stable in their current life. Maybe some do as a curiosity exercise but not most. The T can be as professional, consistent, and supportive as possible, which helps, but that alone will not make a vulnerable client very stable and able to cope, especially outside of therapy sessions. Add to it that, based on what I have seen and experienced myself, some Ts are far more unstable and ***ed up than the client and project their own issues into the therapy and onto the client, which can easily lead to no longer even knowing whose issues begin and end where.
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I should say that I have never done pure psychodynamic therapy, so maybe it's different. With my T, the first stages of therapy (on the scale of months to a year or two) were much more about dealing with present-day stressors and relationships, building a rapport, her being supportive, me learning coping/self-care skills, etc. I didn't dive deep into the past until I was stable and ready, once the hugely stressful life events that propelled me into therapy were mostly over. I didn't think of that other stuff as preparation for going into the past but rather I came to a crossroads where I could have terminated (and probably landed in therapy the next time I hit life stressors) or I could go deeper into the core stuff that was rooted in the past with the goal of making longer-lasting changes to myself. I chose the second route because I wanted to, but terminating at that point would have been a reasonable choice too.
As for finding a stable therapist who has their own self together, that's much harder to gauge. Aside from heeding any clear red flags, I think unfortunately that sifting process involves a lot of trial and error. I feel lucky that my T seems to mostly have herself in order, but I couldn't have ever known that going in.