First, not sure if I have been posting a lot because I am very chatty right now and if so, sorry. You all probably know the feeling haha. But, I just wanted to quickly check in with you all if this is something you have experienced when hypomanic. I am feeling better--trying to get a lot done, applying for jobs finally, getting back into creative projects, being more social, etc. Also feeling kind of wired like I wake up feeling like I already had coffee and kind of jittery and excited, and I want to talk a lot and do a bunch of things. But, I am still having SI in an almost impulsive kind of way. Like feeling happy, then thinking I just want to randomly jump off something, or take some pills. And intrusive violent thoughts directed at myself only. Not even like I totally want to die, and I definitely won't do it. But, it's weird. Also getting randomly irritable/angry and punching things in between happiness. One time because the car in front of me was driving too slow. Can't even recall what set me off the last time.

Does this sound like a mixed episode, or have you ever experienced SI with just hypomania? I don't feel as mixed as I have in the past so I am unsure. Also, I don't think this is my baseline because before this all started in September I never experienced SI that I recall, and I have had a couple days recently where thinking of harming myself seems absurd, then it sneaks back in.

Sorry if this is rambling or I already posted something similar haha. My memory is also off right now. Thanks if you read it all.