The session was about an emotionally charged issue, and at the end, T said that since next week was July 4th, he wouldn't be in on Wednesday. My immediate reaction was one of dread, and I told him such. So, he took out his schedule book and I now have an appointment another day next week.

I realize the following is a child-like reaction. It was a difficult session, and I was hurt that he didn't just say, when would you like to reschedule next week? --versus-- I won't be in next Wednesday.

Intellectually, I don't have a problem with it. Emotionally, it was really painful and I suspect, but am not sure, that I felt some anger towards him. I suspect this because on the way home, I wanted to text him and say something like, "just forget the appointment next week, I'll just cancel." LOL (this is sooo unlike me) It seems that a part of me thinks he will be negatively impacted by me not being there. It's as if I was trying to punish him for not keeping me and my mental state in mind. And then another ego state thinks, he probably would prefer to do anything else other than be there in session with me. or maybe he was okay with either. Such ambivalence. It's all so confusing.