Just out of curiosity, would you give someone, whether it was a friend or significant other, a second chance after they have hurt you in the past and apologized? Would you be able to be as close to them as you once were in the past? Would you be able to trust them as much? For me, I have done this in the past but it always failed miserably since not only did they never apologize but they just kept on doing the same thing over and over again and weren't good friends. For many many years, not one former friend has ever apologized or at least recognized how they treated me.

Then a few months ago, one friend who treated me badly five years ago by treating me like I didn't exist in group settings and only talking to me one on one, as well as always being flaky, apologized for being such a bad friend. She admitted, more than once, that she was a bad friend and was trying to be someone she wasn't. Even though she didn't mention it, I think it was partially because she was very focused on a guy she liked ad it is also possible someone in the group we were in may have peer pressured her into ignoring me when we were in a group setting. Then when it was just me and her, or even me, her, and other non-group members, she was fine. No excuses for the behavior, but those are very possible reasons. Ever since then, she has treated me way better. We are friends, and she even calls me her best friend, but I secretly still have a wall of protection.

I can trust her, but not as much as you may think. I can hang out with her, but I know that it is possible that one day, she will relapse and go back into her old ways. Also even though she says I'm one of her best friends, she has no other friends close enough to her to hang out with so I really won't know exactly how she feels until she meets other friends. I don't mean to sound paranoid but I feel like after being hurt so many times in the past, it is best to be cautious and if a lot more time goes by and she doesn't hurt me, then I could potentially trust her again, especially if she doesn't treat me badly in group settings. We have hung out a couple times with her coworkers but they are not her friends so I don't think that really counts, and she treated me fine then. The group of friends me and her hung out with are no longer around, we are no longer friends with them and she even admits now that they weren't really good friends, which is actually true.

The other two members of that group always talked bad about each other, other people, and even me and the friend I reconnected with so a part of me thinks that it is likely they had something to do with her ignoring me when we were together in a group, since she treated me fine when it was just me and her, or even me, her, and other people that were not a part of that group. She can still be flaky at times, but not as bad as she used to. Part of it is her ADHD causing poor time management but she can definitely do better. I definitely don't feel super close, I can't be. But at least we can be on good terms. Have you ever reconnected with a friend or even a significant other and it worked out okay despite being more cautious around them? Normally I don't really give out second chances anymore, but since she is the first person to ever admit that she was a bad friend and recognized it and changed her ways, I was willing to give a second chance. Just wondered what your experiences were.