I have bipolar disorder type 1 and consider myself a frugal woman. Even when I'm manic, I don't really go on any major buying sprees. My husband, however, is definitely not bipolar, but seems to constantly be spending money on things we don't need. And we don't have the money for them. We have credit card debt that keeps growing.

I have been disabled from my mental illness for years. I have my disability income, and my husband works full-time and always has. A long time ago when I was able to work full-time we did well. My income was even higher than his. I know the situation we're in, but there isn't much more I can personally do. I try not to spend that much money on groceries, which is the only thing I really spend money on. I almost never buy new clothes or hardly anything else. My car is a 1997 Honda Civic. I rarely need gas because I never drive anywhere. I hardly use electricity. Vacations are never my idea, and I rarely even initiate purchase of any entertainment. And yet, every day there is at least a box on our be porch or even three or four. I was content with my most recent laptop and phone, and yet he bought me new ones. I'd be happy spending under $200 total for Christmas, and yet he spends much much more.

I don't ask to go out to any restaurants that often, and the ones I do a cheap ones that give so much food that it's cheaper to get it from them (when dividing up servings) than to make it myself.

I don't know what to do to get him to stop spending. He always says that either he really "needs it" or that he suffers so much at work that he must go on vacations or to concerts. I feel his pain. I feel guilty that his lifestyle has been affected by my illness. That's usually why I say nothing.

We can't afford to retire where we are. He wants to move back to Europe (he's a joint US citizen and citizen of a European country). I'm an American. Being ill, the thought of moving is scary, but he makes good points about such a move. We would be more secure in Europe than in the US where Social Security and Medicare's future is uncertain. Plus, bad times seem to be brewing for people in our situation under the current Republican be power.

I do not know what to do. When things get bad I sometimes think that getting rid of me would help, but I know that would kill my husband, so it's not an option.

During a trip to Europe last month my husband made us look for houses. He only wanted to look at ones that were surely beyond what we should pay. The whole search made me sick with mania. It ruined the trip making all that vacation money spent seem like a waste. The poor guy was crying on the plane because I was so sick.

I don't know what to do.