Could you talk about this pattern of wanting to be cared for/by men in authority where you either end up feeling rejected or, in your attempt to capture that feeling of being cared about, do things to heighten feelings of rejection? Because it sounds a lot like when you've talked about your dad saying something about choosing your mom over you. Maybe this pattern has been an attempt to correct that past hurt, which doesn't actually work so you keep recreating those old feelings instead of putting them in their place.

That might help get your therapy back on track instead of focusing on how your therapist and ex mc and e xtherapist hurt you, because that can just be a neverending loop that doesn't go anywhere.