Hi all. This is my first post on this site, other than my hello, so bare with me. I guess I am just looking for a place to tell my story and maybe get some insight from other people on what the possible solutions are to my problem/s. I have been married for 5 years. I didn't have a wedding, it was more of a justice of the peace thing after finding out I was pregnant. I had my son six months later and would NEVER regret making that decision. However, my husband is another story. He is very selfish, very irresponsible, and mentally and verbally abusive constantly. He is an alcoholic who has routinely stayed out all night without calling or coming home. And even after many discussions about how awful he makes me feel, he will do the same thing. I can honestly say at this moment I do not like him at all, my family knows of his behavior and puts up with the situation because of me. I know I can never change this man, but deep down I am a very sensitive person who just cannot admit or maybe does not want to face being alone. I have been dealing with severe anxiety and panic disorder for many, many years. Unfortunately, because of the stress of this relationship, not being able to work, and raising my son pretty much alone....I have become agoraphobic and just terrified of every moment of every day. When I look at the situation, I see a woman who has lost her way in life, who cannot find a way to be happy, and who is stuck without any hope of a better life. I do not know where to even begin to start on the road to recovery, and since I cannot support myself...I am pretty much screwed! Any suggestions, stories, or advice would be so much appreciated. Thanks so much for listening guys, .