LT,
I understand your situation though I can't give you specific advice. Again, you sound a lot like me and my pattern. I want to analze everything about my T relationship with T, while she is always trying to steer me away from her and towards my real life relationships.

Last session I played a recording I made about her talking about addiction. I wanted her to hear me cry since I have never cried in 8 years of therapy. You and I are different in that regard. T wasn't interested in hearing me cry particularly.

A few years ago I wanted T to watch my family movies of when I was a baby and child. She did, but asked me what I wanted from that experience. It's like I want to go over and over things that make me feel more connected to her. I don't like when she switches gears and asks about my kids or grandkids in the middle of my trying to discuss my attachment to her. It's like I don't want to let it go, and I feel rejected when she wants me to "get out of that loop."

I know T is right but it's hard to "give it up." I sense that you want to go over and over your relationship with ex- MC in order to keep it alive. You may need to grieve that relationship because you are hurting because of it even though you made a wise decision to stop seeing him.

Maybe I'm wrong, and over simplifying your situation, but it strikes a chord with me so I wanted to tell you. Especially the wanting to ruminate about ex MC. I don't think that's wrong because it's not finished for you yet. I also empathize with your frustration with your T because he doesn't want to "go there." This is hard stuff! Hugs.