I think I can relate to what you are saying. I was badly abused by my two older sisters. I think they trashed me to cousins and aunts and uncles, blaming me for my absence from the family. I distance myself to manage anxiety. I am better now and don't have to so much.

I want to email those two because I want them to know that I now know what really happened and that I am regaining my life in spite of their best efforts to destroy me.

So, I think the question is, what will it really accomplish? Will you get the results you want?

Realistically, it is almost unheard of for abusers to step up and apologize for their behavior and how can I make it up to you. Not to say it hasn't happened. I was a terrible bully and I am working through making amends to people I abused.

What do you think in your heart? What do you need to accomplish doing that? You said you did write it down. Are you sure you got everything connected to that out of your head and down in writing so you can see it infront of you?