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ohmydaisy · Jun 28, 2018 at 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonightowl

I forgot to comment earlier on what your therapist said about disassociating cause you can't grieve properly. I think I went through that in "talking" to my dad after mom died since we didn't REALLY talk. And I know he doesn't want to talk about feelings.

I had structure too, and like you I know I'm "hardwired" that way.

I like things to be labeled, predictable, black and white, linear, etc. I hate change and enjoy structure and routine. Grief has to be one of the most unstructured things there is.

As for grief groups, I've been to two. One was a ongoing walk-in group, the second was a "closed" small group that meets for 10 weeks. I did get something out of both, but groups aren't for everyone. I don't want to steer you to something that may not work.

There may be people in it that rub you the wrong way, so keep that in mind.

And the facilitators running it can make or break a group for me. Also, the number of members, how consistent they are in coming, and how long it meets is also something to keep in mind. (Length of session and number of sessions) One woman in the second group I went to dropped out and I'm glad. She hit a nerve when she told me to "imagine how much worse I'd feel if my dad passed." Lovely sentiment, huh?

And as I say above, I need structure so I was really upset when a couple of times I was the only one who showed up! Everyone cancelled, AND at the last minute. I said I'm not staying because I don't come for one on one, I come for the GROUP interaction. I'm isolated enough, so I don't want a one on one....

I have just one more meeting left. It's a double-edged sword.

You could try a drop in group first, just to get the feel of a group experience. But you'll see different people every week, and that drove me nuts, LOL.

I don't know if I'm phrasing this correctly, but I find some comfort knowing that I'm not the only one that likes things linear. lol

I'm in the same boat with the isolation thing. Maybe a group can be good for me... I don't know. It's worth a shot? I'm in a small college town, I'm sure there is a grief group, but it'll be hard to find I think.

I appreciate you taking the time to write.