I have the tendency to feel depressed when I am alone. When I am with a friend, I may still feel a bit depressed but not as much, but the longer I am alone, the more I start to feel depressed and get extremely anxious. I always feel like I am unwanted, but the feeling intensifies when I am by myself for long periods. I like my alone time but at the same time hate the feeling I get when I am alone. I still do other things by myself that I enjoy, but at the same time I still feel depressed. I

I don't consider myself to be dependent on friends but for some reason I just feel very sad and even worry that I did something to bother them if I don't hear from them after several days, especially if they start talking less or seem less enthusiastic than they used too. If a friend starts acting different, I immediately apologize just in case I did something. My friends would always say I am fine but honestly most people are not going to admit that they are annoyed with you right away, especially if you took the initiative to apologize before they even said anything.

And sometimes doing so seems to help at times which really makes me think they were actually annoyed with me and the fact that I apologized made them feel better. Anyone else have this issue? Is this a form of dependency even though I don't demand them to hang out with me all the time? Just wondered. I know no one needs to hang out all the time. That could actually get old, never understood how some people can hang out literally every day without getting sick of each other. But at the same time, I just get concerned, depressed, and anxious after not hearing from a friend after some time. I feel like it isn't normal but I can't seem to help it or stop it.

How do you deal with these kinds of feelings? I hate sounding clingy, I don't mean to come off that way. I don't demand a friend to hang out all the time, usually it is once, sometimes twice a week. And even at times there will be a week when we don't hang out. But after a period of a few days, the feeling starts coming back. I never told any of them about it since it would turn them off but I secretly do feel this way. Is the fear of abandonment and feeling dependent almost the same thing? Just curious. I definitely try to give them lots of space though. I feel depressed even when I am with a friend but no where near as bad. I almost forget about it at times.