I totally understand your point on the dance team, but an extra cirricular activity might just be the thing she needs.

My niece was this way from puberty on, she learned at a very young age that she could pretty much do what she wanted and there was very little that her parents could do about it.

When they grounded her, she left anyway. They couldn't lock her in her room, that's child abuse. They took refused to let her take driver's ed because she wasn't showing she was responsible enough to have a license. She stole her mother's car keys and wrapped the car around a tree, luckily the she and the girl with her walked away unharmed. At 14 she got drunk out of her mind right next to the Sheriff's Department. She was on probation for a million different things. She's been in therapy for years and on several different medications. I wish I could tell you that they found some way of making her behave, but they really didn't.

She turned 18 last month. She seems to be turning her life around now. She's still in High School and will graduate in June, but she knows now that her are not longer required to put up with her behavior and all of her consequences are on her now.

It's hard being a teenaged girl, through in the Bipolar and adhd and you can multiply that a million times. How do you separate the "normal" teenage rebellion from the symptoms of her illness. Is there perhaps a different therapist that she could see? One that specializes in difficult child behavior? Medication that would be appropriate? Have you tried talking to her when you're both calm and telling her flat out that you really don't want to take the priviledge of dance team away from her, but if she continues to behave like this she'll leave you no choice?

I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I'm sorry that she's so frustrated that she doesn't know what to do with herself. I'm sorry that I couldn't be more help.