So hard for me. I'm not on medication at all. I almost forgot what happened to me with ICU..I almost bought a beer.

I've been having panic attacks left right and centre. So down today. I used to think it was cool to have bipolar. Now I know that it's really serious if gone to far with out proper care and medication. I've developed a phobia for taking any medication for it. I just need to cry a little more, but I don't want the crying to trigger a hypo mania episode...or what ever it's called.