I keep thinking about Una's "teach a man to fish" thing. Which, yeah, self-sufficiency and building sustaining relationships in real-life is ideal. (If only MC could have really focused on LT's marriage and helped make that something emotionally nourishing!) But then if a starving person shows up at your door, and you're an accomplished angler with a freezer full of delicious fish sticks and a refrigerator full of fresh tartar sauce, some might consider you a bit of a d ick if you immediately grab a bamboo pole and usher your starving guest down to the stream for a lesson.

I guess I'm just saying that I don't think it's always bad to meet some of the client's needs in an appropriately limited and boundaried way. When my T started to offer genuine emotional connection, I balked hard. If I couldn't accept what she was offering, I definitely wasn't ready or able to skip off and make the type of sustaining relationships that would diminish the problems I was experiencing. In talking through this (a lot!) I discovered that some of my ideas about myself and other people were incredibly skewed. That's why I didn't think it was safe to open up. By now I have learned and grown enough to be able to connect with other people a little more and without nearly as much effort or emotional turmoil. So I don't think wanting (or even getting) emotional needs met by your T is necessarily a bad thing or a re-enactment all the time. I think the key is having a T who can walk that fine line between letting you matter to them and knowing that the ultimate goal is for you to get better and leave them behind.