again....NO.....we all have feelings.....it is a choice YOU MADE to act out. The helpless feeling didn't MAKE YOU act out. You can LEARN to act acceptably in spite of your feelings. Usually children are taught this but as you said....yiu refused to listen to what your parents said & did what you wanted anyway. You are still doing that & begaving like a child when you aren't for whatever reason you are chosing your behavior....it us very unacceptable in a child & even less acceptable in an adult... which YOU ARE.