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nonightowl · Jun 28, 2018, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohmydaisy

I don't know if I'm phrasing this correctly, but I find some comfort knowing that I'm not the only one that likes things linear. lol

I'm in the same boat with the isolation thing. Maybe a group can be good for me... I don't know. It's worth a shot? I'm in a small college town, I'm sure there is a grief group, but it'll be hard to find I think.

I appreciate you taking the time to write.

Yeah, me too.

People say "Lighten up" and "Go with the flow". I esp. hate the latter expression. It brings to mind sewage flowing into the ocean. That's what "go with the flow" means to me and I'm not going with the sewage, LOL.

I had a hard time finding a group that worked better for me than the drop in group I went to. That one was close to home, as it was about a 20 minute drive. The time of day was better too. I am NOT a late afternoon/night person....I got a little something out of the drop in group but I was desperate so I went for a few months.

But since it was drop in, it obviously didn't have the consistency I want/need, as it was so fluid as people dropped in and out. I'd see most people come for just one session, then never come back. The dynamic changed weekly for that reason.

I had to spend so much time looking for the right thing. Some groups charge you in advance, or they may charge cancellation fees if you don't give at least 24 hours notice. Some had "assignments" or you had to buy a book. I'm not going to do that much...

The one wrapping up now has been better than the drop in, but I still found it hard. For one thing, it meets at 4pm which is right in the middle of rush hour. I didn't want the stress of driving at that time, while attending a grief group of all things So I've had to take a bus and a train to get there.

There's some assignments but nothing too hard.

And since it's at 4pm, it would have been out of the question to go in the winter since it would be dark by 4:30 pm. NOT driving or riding buses at night, even with other commuters around. But it's summer now so it's still really bright. But HOT and I don't like the heat, LOL.

The intake was LONG, with so many forms to fill out and a long talk with the graduate student running it (one of the students). This was at one of my local universities. I've found them to be more thorough than my so-called health plan, since they are an educational/research institute. They have an interest in studying topics and interacting with the public is part of that education/study.

Wow....all that, LOL. Maybe try one you can drop out of if it doesn't work for you.

Some might ask you to commit to 8 weeks up front as an example, but they can't force you to come. Still, with the forms you sign they might charge a fee. I don't now. It made my head spin looking up all these groups.

Other places that might have groups are places like churches, hospitals, hospice places, and cemeteries. I saw one at the cemetery I visit to see my friend, but I think I'm done with groups now. It seems I've learned all there is on grief, and it's gotten a bit redundant. Only so much they can say or explain. The rest of it is LOTS of time, maybe years and years.