Oh...i just feel blah! It makes no sense but everything feels a mess. I decided to ignore the past and as of Jan 1st I haven't hurt myself at all. But now its all I can think of. I don't know how to explain this but its like cutting makes me feel special, its a reason for people to care about me even though I hide it. I can think well you can be mean to me but I'm gonna go home and cut my arms up so there. It makes no sense I know but now I've stopped I feel worthless, like theres no point to caring about me, I'm just disgusting and stupid, just blah. I don't want to be here anymore I know its just a bad day but I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry and, well, you can guess the rest.