Well, there's not much chance you'll burden anyone here. I'm happy to read your posts and enjoy your writing. Your recollection of the "behavioral center" is pretty creepy; I understand why you would want to avoid a repeat. If getting therapy is problematic right now, have you thought of seeing a pdoc and trying different meds since they're no longer working? There are so many choices nowadays that maybe one of them will re-boot you, give you some energy...ya know, perk you up?