I am trying to survive on my own all alone here in another country. I receive no help from others. I at times want to return home to my parents but they told me I have no home to return. I am constantly fatigued by the simplest actions- going out to work and returning. I don't work that much now. I have may be one or two classes a day and not daily. I don't understand why I am so easily tired from doing some simple activities. I want to work more and am constantly looking for jobs that are suitable. So far, I'm only able to find part-time work. This is better than nothing for now. However, I feel bad that I can't be more active and do more for myself. I live in poverty which really does not bother me. But, I am limited in my opportunities and activities. I guess, all I want to do is work more and just be myself. I don't need friends because I never had any friends. I want to become more active and do more. I am trying to focus on working more because I think I need a distraction. So, I'm at times unhappy with my situation. Work is hard to find at my age- am 50. Thus, I take what I can get but sometimes what I get is not what I want. I should be grateful for my situation. I have enough to eat, roof over my head, and clothes to wear. I am wondering if my depression and apathy are from the weather now- it is hot and humid here. I don't know. I feel I was doing better in the spring time when it was cooler. Now, I feel just standing outside is unbearable. I sweat a lot. Thus, I am wondering what is the cause of my apathy and depression. I am cycling up and down. But, I feel good when I go out, then when I am not stay home. I don't know if my mood is dependent on my situation or from my illness itself. I really don't know the cause of my mood disorder. I want peace and happiness. Is this too much to ask for? I apologize for my rambling again.