It helps a little but I know it ended because of how I was acting. A week before it ended with him I sent him a message saying "I can't do this anymore". Then I ignored him. Then when he sent a long text to me saying how he hoped I really wasn't ending it I couldn't stop crying. I then went back to him. the very last time I saw him as I was leaving he said "you better not text me this week and tell me you can't do this anymore" I said I won't. A week later He didn't text me one day and I flipped out thinking he was with someone else. I said some mean stuff but I felt hurt. I never saw him again after that.

I think that is the hardest part for me, that I know it is because of how I acted. I have done plenty of things in my life I regret because I "blew up". I have broken things and people. So I feel guilty. I know it had to end sometime and would have ended sometime. I dreaded it. Sometimes I still can't believe it really happened.

I was doing better and now I feel sad again. I am trying to keep busy