Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25
Oh, I SO relate!!! I just had this conversation with my seven year old today. He asked what all my medicine was for and I said I had a brain disease called bipolar that made me really happy sometimes and really sad other times. I told him that’s why I go to the hospital sometimes, because I need more help for my brain. He sort of understood.
I just feel so awful sometimes though, just like you said. I nap a lot and I don’t play with him as much as I should or could. He’s an only child so he only has me to play with. Even if my husband hadn’t died I couldn’t have another one. I wouldn’t be able to go off medication to be pregnant for nine months. I would probably have to be hospitalized the whole time so I didn’t hurt myself. And there’s no way I could deal with a newborn again. My son hardly ever slept. I would go crazy.
I too hate cooking. He eats peanut butter sandwiches most days, or hot dogs, mac n cheese, spaghetti. I maybe cook from scratch once a week. And even then I rely on frozen or canned veggies and boxed sides. We go out to eat a lot. McDonald’s is our go to place which I know is terrible health wise but sometimes it’s all I have the patience for. I’m ok at keeping things clean but he’s terrible at it. His room is a total wreck and I have no energy to make him clean it.
He’s likely going to be diagnosed with ADHD and possible sensory issues and it’s so overwhelming to me to think of all of his possible needs in the future. Like will I have to request an IEP? What about a 504 plan? Will he grow to hate school? Will I have to medicate him? I so wish my husband were still alive just so I could at least have someone to help me with all this.
So anyway I’m totally with you. I have no advice I just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone at all.
And I bet in the eyes of our children we are the best moms ever no matter what  |
I can relate so much except for the fact that I still have my husband around to help, but it is hard. Like you, my daughter is an only child, so she seeks attention from my husband and me. He is a teacher, so he is home from work for the summer, but he has projects he wants to do, like catch up on 10 years of uncontrollable filing (basically since my daughter was born). We had some IEP meetings in 1st & 2nd grade, not much came out of it. We just had a pediatrician appointment, and the doctor said my daughter is too high functioning for 504 despite all her sensory issues - can't tie a bow, won't brush tangles out of her hair, won't take showers because of how the water feels (only baths), won't wear anything other than dresses because pants, skirts, shorts are too tight around her waist, and if it's loose enough, it just falls off her hips. She won't eat mixed or seasoned food. Hates vacuum cleaners, mixers and bouncy houses because of the noise. Doesn't like public restrooms because they tend to have hand blow dryers. The school sends her to the nurse's restroom because it has paper towels, not hand dryers, but I am a little angry as they were supposed to give her some occupational therapy to help with problems like that which affect her school day. But her school has a high turnover of counselors; she probably gets lost in the mix. In first grade & kindergarten, the teachers called me all the time because all she would do at recess was stand on the side and cry, but finally, she made 2 good friends and started playing with kids her own age. There's plenty of other sensory stuff I'm leaving out, but you can see it's a challenge...oh, and puberty, OMG, I don't know how many bras we went though until she found a brand she liked. Then, she needed to start shaving under her arms and was so afraid of cutting herself, it was ineffective. I finally just bit the bullet & got Nair for that. She still doesn't need to shave her legs as her hair grows blonde there, but that is sure to be another nightmare, and these are issues my husband doesn't want to deal with because he feels I have experience with them while he does not.
I agree, I couldn't be pregnant again. We tried for awhile after my daughter was born, and we couldn't get pregnant after a year. Had testing done, everything was normal, so we just gave it up. If I did end up pregnant, we'd probably terminate the pregnancy due to all the meds I'm on.