Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
You showed courage and you expressed what is on your heart. Good job!
His immediate defensiveness is not a good sign. It sounds like he did not accept or validate your feelings at all.
When you say “Here is what I need in a relationship” and he says “I can’t/won’t give you that,” then he is presenting with a basic choice: “Do without what you need, or find it elsewhere.”
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Thank you for all your encouragement so far with this. It hasn't been easy :'(
I think he and I are both fixated on how much I laid out on him. I admit that I went on and on for like 15 minutes about his flaws, and later I read that going on monologues and not pausing for feedback isn't good communication, either. On the flip side, I was pouring my heart out, I apologized for not communicating my feelings well, and I asked for him to understand where I'm coming from.
We haven't really spoken in about 12 hours now, and the ball is sort of in his court. I left him a letter before work trying to further explain myself. Don't even know if he'll read it; I've never seen him so angry. I'm still hurt that he didn't even acknowledge that I've been struggling.
edit: something I should note for myself is how I still feel bad for what I've done wrong throughout this ordeal. Does my partner feel the same? Am I being too hard on myself? Why am I so willing to put blame on myself, and is it helping this situation? I just want to take responsibility for what I've done to show how much I care...