I just don't. I don't like when people can relate to me*. I think because it makes me feel like the struggles I'm talking about are nothing special. When other people say they can relate to my pain, I guess I interpret that as my pain is just a common experience. Nothing noteworthy. And/or, it makes me feel misunderstood... There's no way someone else could possibly feel the amount of pain I feel... I also postulate that maybe I don't like the whole "you're not alone" sentiment because, in my mind, that means that those other people who "share" my pain will get the attention and care for it. And I won't. There won't be enough love and empathy left for me. I also have a major tendency to want to be the "sickest" one in a group, likely for the same reason. I feel very emotionally needy (I have a history of childhood emotional neglect).

*See second to last paragraph for clarification!

So I think the two main reasons I react negatively to "you're not alone" is because it either means that A) other people will get the loving, caring, attention and empathy that I so desperately crave and there won't be much if any left over for me, and/or B) that I'm being misunderstood; that people can't see my pain for what it really is, and therefore it won't be seen as "that bad" or that worthy of being attended to. So maybe it all just kind of comes down to fear? The fear that I won't get my emotional needs met. That I will always have this void. That all that empathy and compassion and care and attention that I so desperately crave will never be mine.

Anyone relate?? "You're not alone" is sooo commonly used in the mental health community and it's meant to be comforting, but for me it's the opposite. It's not that I want to be "forever alone" or a loner in that sense. I want caring people in my life. I don't (generally) want to be alone. I just want my pain to be seen for what it really is and I want it to be remedied to its fullest.

Ironically, as I'm writing this, I notice that I just wrote "anyone relate??" as if in an effort to elicit a "you're not alone" response haha. But if anyone replies with that or something to that effect, it won't affect me in the ways I described above. I think this is more an interesting phenomenon to me that I'm just curious about to see if anyone else experiences it. Above, what I really meant to get at was I don't like it when people say they relate to my pain. Like... "I had a similar bad experience with a therapist and it sucked too" (and then in my head I'm like... Umm, no you didn't. Don't say you understand when you don't. You don't know how much pain I was/am feeling. Your "bad" experience with a therapist wasn't nearly as bad as mine was. That feels invalidating).

So for this particular situation, yes, I am genuinely interested in knowing if anyone else experiences this reaction to "you're not alone" or similar sentiments. Just curious from more of a scientific standpoint as a student of psychology