I have 3 kids: 4, 8, & 10. The only one who knows, or at least understands, that I have bipolar disorder is my oldest. She still asks me questions from time to time but I have been completely stable for some time so it hasn’t been effecting my children’s lives. However, at my most unstable, I was really unstable so they noticed things. I had such pressured speech that my thoughts would spew out of my mouth uncontrollably and I would often rehearse conversations out loud. My daughter would ask who I was talking to. It was the same with laughter. I would have uncontrollable giddy laughter and she would ask what was so funny. My anger was at times explosive and even twisted. I was extremely odd and “fun” to them, etc (you guys get it). Anyway, I have just accepted that it will be part of their lives forever too and I will do whatever I can at all times to make their lives as wonderful and “ordinary” as possible.

The biggest issue we have now is that I sleep WAY too much because of my meds. I am afraid I am missing too much time with them and that I am teaching them lazy habits. I’m not too sure what to do about it though.

Also, when I accepted that I had bipolar disorder as an adult and went back on meds, I found out I was pregnant by accident weeks later. I was far too ill to stop meds. In the beginning I was taking low dose lamictal and ability but by the end of my pregnancy I was on a high dose of lithium (and I can’t remember what all else). My pdoc at the time explained to me that it was only during your first trimester that lithium caused developmental harm to a fetus and assured me it would be fine. To date, she has had no ill effects from my meds during her pregnancy. I did decide not to breast feed though and I would have made the same decision regardless of the drugs I was taking at the time. That was so, so sad to me because I nursed my other two for more than a year. I had my tubes tied when I had her despite the fact that I had always wanted one more. Now my biggest fear is that they will get it also.