I found that for me mixed episodes are worse than having depression or mania by itself. The first time I had one it scared the crap out of me. Being really depressed, but having an overwhelming even uncontrollable urge to accomplish everything and anything and being unable to do it made me so agitated that I wanted to jump out of my skin. It was like there was a war going on in my head.

It was also the first time I really thought I could go through with committing suicide. Usually when I'm depressed I don't have enough drive to do anything at all, but with a mixed episode I had more than enough drive to go along with the horrible feelings depression brings. Up until then I didn't even know that there was such a thing as a mixed episode. I had been told that being depressed, but having some energy can be a deadly and I can now understand why.

If you have suicidal feelings please contact your doctor immediately or go to the ER. Finding and staying on the right meds does wonders. I'm on 200 mg of Lamictal and feeling great!