I've sort of been a lurker in this forum for the most part, not because I don't care, but because of the fact that I've been ashamed to post much being in my not-so-sober state.....

Well, I've finally decided that its time for a change. Things have gotten out of control lately, and I really can't go on living like this. I've been clean for roughly two days. two extremely painful days......this is so %#@&#! difficult. I've attempted reaching out to the counselor at school (he said that I have one final change to clean my act up), as well as other somewhat distant figures in my life. Spring Break is upon me now however, and I really don't know how I'm going to continue on my path to sobriety when I have all this empty, cold, time to myself. I feel like I'm yearning for help from anyone who truly cares, yet I'm having issues finding those that are honestly there for me. The drugs are calling, and I'm jumping in my skin. I just want this to be over.

Thanks for listening,
Mel