DP, sounds like it's more than CEN...this sounds like emotional abuse.

I fully believe CEN is traumatic. How I'm healing is...ironically by being shown compassion, care and even love from friends (including internet friends. Most of my loving friends are online)...by being shown those and my own mutual care, love, compassion for them...I feel I matter to them and they matter to me too.

As for the belief that you're unworthy of love and care, I have that too. Same as the belief people will get sick of me when they realise how disgusting I am... "Oh my friends just see my good persona"...I don't have an answer...

What I do know from your posts on PC is that I believe you do deserve love, support and care. And that the unworthiness you feel is a trauma response from the CEN. I know, I know you could think "QM doesn't know me".

I've read that if a abused child has a compassionate witness, they fare better even if they couldn't be protected from abuse...

But with CEN, a deep message about your unworthiness is ingrained in you...