I am really getting tired both physically and emotionally of all this crap that is going on in my life. My voices are at it full blast today and I can't stop them. I see my pdoc tomorrow so something has got to change or I'm not sure what the outcome will be. Someone told me that I'm not really hearing voices I'm just saying I am for attention. YEA RIGHT!!! I know sometimes I want some attention but not like that. Its a good thing an ocean separates me from this person. I saw my GP's wife this morning at Bible Study which I had to pry myself out of bed to go because that was the last place I wanted to go to today but I knew if I didn't go I would cause a few people to worry so I went anyway. I gave her a hug and told her thank you for praying for me and she said that she and her hubby have been thinking and praying for me really hard and that things will get better soon. I almost started to cry and was glad I was in the elevator by myself afterward. I am now at my parents house doing some laundry and I am to cook dinner for me and my dad luckily that's just nachos. I have no energy or the desire to do anything really big. I am glad that he agreed to just having nachos but he wants meat on his but I think there is still some in the fridge so all I have to do is warm it up.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to be normal in the worst way and am beginning to think I am never going to get better and that I need to adjust to being strange for the rest of my life.

Janniebug