I almost hesitated at including the link for the case study in this thread because it is not easy to read and is very likely triggering for some people. Readers beware:

When Is Depression a Terminal Illness? Deliberative Suicide in Chronic Mental Illness, June 16 - AMA Journal of Ethics

The entire reason I asked about this is because I constantly wonder where I am on that spectrum...yeah, I may be able to take meds to ameliorate some of my symptoms, but the root, external cause inducing the symptoms will never change short of humans evolving overnight and learning sudden compassion and understanding.

I am locked into this life by legal restraints stronger than steel. My external variables will always be negative, and there's nothing I can do about that to change it. Yes, I can make small changes here and there about myself, but due to the externals, those changes amount to nought.

I had one psychologist I've trusted in the last twenty years, and now she's not in private practice (she went from working in a prison to working for the county crisis center) so I cannot rely upon her for any meaningful palliative treatment, and the idea of trusting another rando psych who has no background in criminality or treating severely abnormal psychology (I'm half-convinced that everyone who comes out of the joint has some form of PTSD, deserved or not) makes me shake and get panicky.

I am stuck. And there absolutely is no way out. I fear that all I am doing is numbing myself to the reality of my situation because the reality is that it will never get better.