Kiya........I understand a lot of what you say. I have had several episodes where I talk to t. on the phone and I do not feel in any danger of SI. But for some reason, the phone call sets me off. I feel so stupid cause I have just told him that all is well. It seems crazy to me when it happens, but........there it is. I'm sorry you were feeling this way. It always scares the hell out of me when things move out of control so fast. Sending you hugs

tulips