I'm battling today between wanting to fast/restrict and wanting to get better. After my last therapy session I've started wondering whether it could be possible that I'm fine as I am and now just trying to pluck up the courage to attempt recovery. My problem is I'm still not 100% convinced I definitely have an eating disorder. At times I wonder if it could just be slightly disordered eating/dieting that's pretty normal for our culture. I feel like I need my therapist to validate it and say she definitely thinks I have an ed and then I can start fighting or almost like it is an external force.