Horrible day today. No motivation to get up, as usual. My mom took my son to my grandmas house so I literally slept all day again. This time it was terrible anxiety that kept me chained to the couch. Just thinking about being awake and getting up was anxiety inducing to me. I’m not sure why. That’s really what it’s been. It’s less depression and more anxiety of the whole day I.ln front of me and nothing to actually do.

I got a bill in the mail from my latest ER visit and they want to charge me $2400. Something must be wrong with my insurance. When I went to the ER back i October I only had to pay the ER copay. Not sure what the deal is now. Not sure who I should call first, the billing line for the ER or my insurance company. I think I’m gonna call the billing line first and find out if they got my insurance right at all. The ambulance company that transported me didn’t so that might be what happened. It’s just more stress on me though. I can’t handle when bills pile up like this.

Ugh. Part of this may be the nicotine withdrawal. It was tough not to go buy cigarettes today. But the cartridges for my vape are so ****ing expensive. Almost as much as it costs to smoke. I really can’t afford it anymore. So I have to power through. Besides I’ll be more proud of myself if I can make it without anything.