This amazingly is one of the very few thoughts that keep me sane. In ten years time so many things won't matter anymore (hopefully). I'll have to work hard for this, but even if things don't go perfectly in ten years I will have achieved most of the things that I want right now and all the psychiatric history of mine won't matter anymore.

But sadly, I also think a lot in the other direction. Thinking: I wish I could go back 10 years and change this or that. I guess I'm a bit perfectionist. I want to be the best and I'm frustrated to accept that I'm not and never will be. And being surrounded by succesfull doctors all day is then not the best environment.

I think I should really go in therapy. I've been looking around and there are therapists in my native language in my area. The waiting lists are very long and the price is expensive (not reimbursed here by insurance). But I'm not in an acute psychiatric crisis, so I can wait and just write my acute frustrations somewhere on this forum.