(((Almeda)))
I completely understand your dilemma. As you know I have been sorting out the fine points of my relationship with T as well. (Are we all dong this?) Knowing/accepting boundaries--arggghhhhh.
In the for what it's worth category it sounds like you did achieve your goal of reading him the fantasy and going deeper--it's just that the deeper portion wasn't what you expected.
I don't understand either--why--if the end game is to separate--the goal now is to engage wholly and fully. WTF is that?
Yeah, everyone says it's not a friendship but then it feels like a cruel hoax at times, particularly if you have issues of love being given and pulled away.
((((((((almeda))))))))))
Peace