My Support Forums - View Single Post - I don't like it when people tell me "You're not alone"

AzulOscuro · Jul 05, 2018 at 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparkySmart

This is not exactly related...but...last year my little dog (Sparky) died. When I returned to work and told people, they said, "Oh no! How sad! I've been through that, too! Did I tell you how awful it was when my dog/cat/turtle/snake died?" And then I sat, bug-eyed and stunned, while they described their experience in agonizing detail and I tried to appear to comfort them. Oh please oh please oh please shut up. Can't you tell I'm grieving? Please just give me some room here.

I had a friend years ago who would listen and only speak to clarify points, like, "So I think you said XYZ. Is that what you were saying?" Gosh. It made me feel so...so cared for and understood somehow.

...my little dog (Sparky) died. When I returned to work and told people, they said, "Oh no! How sad! I've been through that, too! Did I tell you how awful it was when my dog/cat/turtle/snake died?"

I don’t see so bad the “ I’ve been through that too” phrase, what it’s pretty understandable. In the end, we all go through events that may be similar. This is life.
What I see mean is what followed. It was your moment of sadness, your loss, your time to have a friend ear in case you wanted to share more. Nothing worst than adding more sadness with their sad experiences.
Whoever with a little of empathy can see it. I don’t know what’s happening...we are becoming too much self-focussed.