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Originally Posted by seesaw
Okay, so I guess I can set a timer and also just say that I have a work thing to go to but didn't want to leave him hanging. I like whomever suggested just saying work is the same old same old. And just that it's fine, no details. If he asks about the new car, I will just say I traded in for the same car payment I was already paying so it didn't cost me anything (it didn't). Part of the thing here is I don't want them to know I have any money. Financial stuff is kind of a thing in my family, and I don't want any accusations or requests or whatever. It's not like I have money to spare anyhow. I am making money but I'm paying off a huge amount of past medical debt, so I really don't have a whole lot to spare.
Sigh...I can try to make time for this at some point this week, I think. I guess I will just keep him talking about himself. And if he brings up any family I will just say I would prefer not to discuss other people. And if he continues, I will just say "if that's what you want to talk about then I will have to get off the phone now. If you'd like to discuss something else we can keep chatting."
Ug...it's just so hard to not react and not get swept up in the emotional manipulation.
Seesaw
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There is no reason he needs to know about the car. Maybe if it was something highly unusual like buying an airplane. People buy cars all the time and some switch cars often. I wouldn’t even mention it. And certainly not how you paid for it.
My dad likes to comment how I overpay for everything (I don’t but it’s his way of acting like he always knows better)but I can’t hide big purchases as I see my parents every few days. If I didn’t see them that often, they wouldn’t even know as I wouldn’t even tell them. I wouldn’t even think it’s something to tell them.
It’s perfectly ok to share about a movie you saw or visit to mom (unless that leads to drama).