He is probably in the same consulting group as my T. I want to point out the caring that comes through offering the session, reinforcing coming to see him. He wants the caring to be his way, not your way, not the ays of other T's who practice with a dfferent theory. He is kind of saying, I am right here for you, I am comfortable meeting in my office with you here are open arms, but no stone! I get upset bc I feel like hey here is a male T making the rules for a shared relationship. There is a theory that women tend and befriend under pressure, and patriarchal therapy discounts that in favor of independence and differentiation.
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Originally Posted by fille_folle
I think T's are lying if they say they can keep their feelings out of it. I mean, they're just people. Imperfect, fallible, etc. I also think it's bs to say that's what they are paid for. It might sound nice, but doesn't really make sense. .
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Yes, today I read a trauma book Wisdom Love and Attachment in Trauma Therapy- the theory is pretty pie- in- the- sky in contrast to how day in day out life plays out in all-too human hands.
It did help me have the best session bc it explained cool aloof T's can be valuable to sensitive souls bc while they dont reassure and give love, they can withstand alot more trauma processing than other types( that's my T); the other type, the warm intuitive T senstive soul ADORE and they return that , but have forshortened careers at times and also sometimes dont hold the space bc they get too empathetic
Lt's T seems more like mine, rock-solid( even though he emails) but not seeing his role being all that empathetic. I might be wrong. I cares, he is there, he is probably very bombproof, but he just isnt going to imagine his way too far into interpersonally messy discussion. My T is not interested in talking about the relationship unless there is a big problem- then he will to solve MY problem .