Ruby, normally the usual advice would be for you to sit down with your case worker or counselor and talk about better ways to handle your emotional responses. In your case, I don't think that will do any good. You've been there, done that. There is nothing lacking in your level of intelligence. You simply disregard any line of reasoning that doesn't show you how to get what you want out of people.

You will continue to lose jobs and have little luck making friends. People will want friendship with you only if they believe you care about them. You talk like a person who only cares about the effect things will have on you. That can lead to great loneliness in years to come. When it happens, you won't even realize how you brought it on yourself.