Yeah, I like Perna's distinction between pain as being an experience in the moment while suffering is 'all the layers of thought' etc that we 'heap on top'.

On a buddist conception the self is an illusion. What is supposed to be illusory is this notion of an entity (the self) that persists THROUGH time.

The idea is that all that there really is is the present moment. But what we do is we 'project' ourself into the past (by ruminating) and into the future (by worrying).

In the literature on animals one often hears it said that one difference between people and animals is that people can suffer (because of their capacity to 'project' themselves forward and backwards) while animals can't suffer (because of their lack of capacity) though they obviously can feel pain.

Hume said (something along the lines of): When I reflect inwards and try and find this thing called 'the self' I find that there are only particular perceptions and ideas. I never can glimpse this thing that persists through time that holds or unifies all the perceptions and ideas. I confess that if a man thinks he can find such a thing there is little more that I can say to him except that I find no such thing in me.

Part of it is about... Realizing that we can control how much we suffer (by learning how to control and divert our attention from our ideas, perceptions, memories, and ruminations and anxieties. Instead of sitting there dwelling, anticipating, suffering, one can divert ones attention by having a run or a long bubblebath or listening to music and really focusing on that.

Pain is less volountary. But it takes attention to turn pain into suffering and attention is something that we CAN control. (Interestingly enough we have some control over pain via our attention too).

I suffer less now. Having more control over my attention has opened up a related way of being for me, however. The capacity to grieve.

Learning how to turn suffering into grieving is something that therapy can help you with. Learning how to direct ones attention etc.