Hello Yellowhotelroom: I believe this was your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you're finding PC to be of benefit.

As other members, here on PC, have noted, there is perhaps a sense in which the experiences you described in your post can be viewed as unwarranted invasions of your personal space or, to put it another way, as violations of your personal boundaries. And from that perspective, learning how to establsih & defend your personal boundaries may be worthwhile. Here are links to 4 videos, from PsychCentral's archives, on that subject:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-...er-boundaries/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-tips...aries-at-work/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...ficult-people/

However, I think the greater issue here may be what is causing you to "freak out" when someone grabs you. Granted people shouldn't be grabbing you to begin with. But if having someone do so is causing you to freak out, perhaps this is a sign there is more to this than personal boundaries? And given that you mentioned you are a CSA survivor, it may be that the way you are reacting is tied to that. Here are links to 2 articles that focus on the effects of CSA, as well other forms of trauma, on adults:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-ch...relationships/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/underst...disorder-ptsd/

You mentioned you only remember bits & pieces of what happened to you. It may be that the answer here lies with exploring that, at-length & in-depth, with the help of an experienced therapist. I wish you well...