I am so sorry for your loss I lost my mom about a month ago and I am not handling it to well.She was 91 but she wanted to die every since my dad passed away less then two years ago.She was so very sick,I couldnt even go to see her because of my anxieties,I am so depressed I cannot cope right now I dont know what do to.Some days all I do is cry .I miss her so much,I am so happy that I was at least able to tell her that I loved her before she passed away,I do understand how you feel.Hope a hug will help.