Hello everyone! I have a story to share.

My mother took care of me and my physical illnesses since birth, even major surgeries as an adult, and helped me through my BP diagnosis.

I began therapy a few months before my suicide attempts that led to my BP diagnosis in 2015. My therapist and staff at the center saved my life. Everyone was friendly and sympathetic to my needs from the beginning (small town, 1 therapist and few office personnel), so they were almost like family. After my attempts, I saw my therapist 3-4 x per week. We were very close, as we have very similar backgrounds (positive and negative). I would email her at whatever time of day and the case worker would call me on weekends... He is my age and like a brother.

With my mother's failing health and being her primary care giver, I had to deal with past and present events. With my therapist's guidance, I handled it (plus with the help of my now-husband). I would tell her how much she was like my mom (and they had met/talked on the phone during my hospitalizations). Her son worked in the office too, so we all knew so much about each other and sometimes part of my hour-long sessions were just sharing funny stories outside in the sunshine.

I started calling her 'mom'.

Then I had to end sessions with her because I decided to use my nursing license with that company. We were elated that I was able to work again but sad at the same time.

Then my mother's Rapid Progression Dementia ended her life (12 days before her 57th birthday).

My former therapist ('mom') emailed me with her phone number since we had grown to 2-sided conversations. That has been a year ago, and we still text to check in on each other, and I get to talk to others in the office at the grocery store etc.

Losing my mother was the hardest thing that has happened to me and 2-3 years ago I know that lose would have been the death of me, literally. But thanks to 'mom', her son, and a couple others at the center, I reflected on their experiences and appropriate responses, and used the coping skills to make it through.

As a LPN, I know there are boundaries in healthcare, but my bound with 'mom' is so strong, she refers to me as 1 of her kids, her as my mom, and we share 'i love yous'. Maybe its the small town thing... Idk, but this is an appropriate relationship, one that both of us need. We vent, cry, laugh. She is my best friend... Just as my biological mother was until she passed.

I do have to say that, at times, delving into my past and unearthing buried memories was not productive and put a huge strain on me and my now husband's relationship. I had things pushed down deep, and self-destructive behavior was doing just that... Destroying me and poisoning everyone around me.
Mom was sensitive to this and we carefully worked through it. I'm not saying the past no longer haunts me, its just doesn't take a large of a toll when it rears its ugly head.

This is probably rambling, but I was thinking of both my moms, and reflecting on the good things in the past 3-4 years.

Great news: I have a great job as a corrections nurse, got married Oct. 2017 and have been with him since May 2014, we moved into a bigger/nicer apartment recently, adopted a senior dog (animals are amazing therapy for me!), my BP is stable on a lamictal/lithium combo, physical health is improving.... All break-throughs for me!!