Self care during a flare for me is to make certain I am well hydrated and as comfortable as possible. I use self soothing techniques and try to ground myself in the here and now while remembering that the pain will not always be this intense. It will decrease sooner or later. It might not ever go away, but it is not always as bad as it gets during a flare. I also remind myself that if it gets too bad I can always reach out for help at the emergency Department. They can give me additional medication to help. There is a non opiate that helps me usually (torradol???) and they don’t have any problems giving me that. I have asked to have it for home use but they declined saying it is unsafe for long term care.
Additionally I am blessed to have a friend who understands my pain and will stay with me on the phone until I feel better. She is an excellent resource for me.
I hope some of this helps.