Hi LT. I have been following your sessions and wanting to weigh in for months now but it finally all seemwd to click for me anyway. I may be totally off and please feel free to ignore everything I say. I admire that in you. I disagree that you have anxiety over your thoughts and interpretations of what others say.

You seem to handle others comments and disagreement with you very well. I could be wrong but base this on the fact that you continue to post your sessions and put yourself out there for possible criticism. This is something I personally could never do because I am avoidant. I avoid conflict at all costs and take everything others say to me to heart even though I will never let them see that.

It appears to me that you only seem to take offense to what men or other authority think, feel, or say to you. Going way back to the thick of MC days when you were getting along and even with your old T, you seemed to always want their approval and reassurance that what you thought or felt was OK and or acceptable/normal. You used to even post that you were emailing or calling MC to receive reassurance. Maybe that is why you post on this forum as well, only you know the answer to that.

This might be a good thing to bring up in session. It seems to me to be a pattern. The whole stone issue and even the dream subject again seems to be about you wanting approval, acceptance, or reassurance that your thoughts and desires are OK. When T seems to disagree and not provide that reassurance is when you seem to feel the need to keep pushing deeper in hope of getting the answer you want to hear.

I do agree sometimes it seems that an unusual amount of time and effort is wasted on you trying to obtain that approval and getting this T to come to your way of thinking. I may be wrong but it seems like the lack of this is what ultimately caused you to terminate with your exT and MC.

While this seems to be a pattern that causes you much pain I would consider what you really want to gain from T. If you want to stop the cycle and improve your life I think this current T is good for you. He, like my T appear to not want to spend time on things that will not push you foward. The stone in his eyes seems to only perpetuate your attachment to him but most of all has morphed into your want of approval from him that this is OK as demonstrated by your eagerness for him to seek consultation over the issue. I can only assume that this was in hope of getting him to change his mind and provide you the reassurance you were looking for.

If you really want to stop the underlying cause of this pattern, I agree that time would be better spend on discussing your childhood with T. For him to help you move forward, he needs to understand the past. It seems that you had a productive last session when you opened up about your mother and provided T the full picture. This is what he needs in order to help you heal the past and ultimately the attachment issues.

T refusal to become enmeshed in the current attachment/approval seeking behaviors is his way of trying to get you unstuck and moving forward.

On the other hand if reassurance or approval is your main goal of therapy (and there is nothing wrong with that if so) then I don't think you will ever get much satisfaction from this T. It just doesn't seem like he is willing to go there.

Either way I wish you luck and hope you find the resolution you are looking for.