Alright guys....... ANOTHER update. So nothing big has happened since the brick incident however I have had some physically threatening texts from an unknown number. Had a friend that is a PI run the number and it is of course a prepaid throw away phone. I have tried several times through several vehicles of communication to make contact and make peace and us agree to just go away from the others life. I suppose this is the reason for the texts from the unknown number. I don’t know if I mentioned this or not in a previous post but she had gotten pregnant not long after we started seeing each other, 3 months maybe, I was excited for us. She didn’t seem to thrilled, I told her she had nothing to worry with as my job would provide plenty of support for a pregnancy and the raising of a child. I also told her it was her decision as I didn’t want to tell her to do something and then spend years resentful at me because of a decision based upon my influence. So I simply told her whatever she decided I would support no matter what even though I have no children and this was probably my last chance at having a child because of my age.

So she terminated the pregnancy, second one...... the other from 12-15 years earlier one night stand deal. Reason for me typing that story is whoever this person is texting me, at one time I sensed it may be her, however one of the last texts was they would have murderedmy child as well.

Before this I had went to a retreat deal and learned I have a lot of deep anger towards this woman for the way she used me and treated me. Now I find myself even more angry and I feel a hatred I have never experienced, I am 43 years old and had my share of relationships. Never haveI felt this sort of hatred. She has created two facebook profiles, one filled with nothing but her and her ex husband that drove her to a very mental illness that I cant even describe from the way he treated her and the things he made her do.

Her and her three year old daughter live with her parents, she stays cracked out on adderall all day then takes way more than the recommended dosage of ambien and klonopin at night yet still does not sleep and trolls the internet all night for attention. Making YouTube videos and taking pics of herself posting to instagram and I am not certain how to process all of this.

I do see a therapist once a week, Ha! Actually the therapist is a therapist she had seen a few time because i pushed for her to get help and she found him and the deal was she would see him a few times then her and I would start to see him. I called him a few months ago and he would not see me because of her and I get it, the ethical part of that and the conflict of interest. He said he would call me back with some referrals. I never heard from him so about two months later I called him back and he agreed to see me. The first session I think I made him uncomfortable being I was talking about her...... I calmed him down a bit and let him know I was not there about her, it was me and what is going on with me to continually find myself in these type relationships.

Apparently she isn’t seeing him anymore being he has loosened up over the last 4-6 weeks and she has no way to pay being she stays cracked out all day then cant sleep at night because she is high on ambien and klonopin. Making videos and taking pictures to post like advertising for attention. It is so bizarre. Anyway...... I had to write this out, I am very angry and do not want to look at this stuff online but sometimes I just cant stop myself. She is a gorgeous woman, the adderall has her getting close to anorexic looking. For a 36 year old woman with a child she could have any man she wanted however her mental illness prevents that from happening. I am sure by now she has met at least two men and they had any sanity were like whoa...... this girl isn’t right, I got to go. Which I should have done and wouldn’t find myself on a psyche forum at midnight on a Saturday night describing my relationship troubles/ <3