Yesterday I had what felt like a complete and utter breakdown.

A lot of crying and suicidal feelings. I messaged my "emergency" contact- a girl I went to the same school with, but only call or message 1-2 times a year. But I didn't feel like it helped so I just said thank you and sorry for bugging her.

I didn't email R.

My mind was just so tired and I was frustrated because I couldn't study anymore. I told my mother that I

and I felt like she finally took me seriously, and it was comforting to have her talk to me pretty much till late .

Exam tomorrow.